Intro

Tag: status update

Someone almost raped my friend – so she did this, which prevented it.

Sofie Hagen

Multi-award-winning stand-up comedian, but my uncle wants to know when I'm going to lose some weight. A lot of guys have told me that they'd LOVE to be my boyfriend, if they weren't already married. I once joined a beginner's dance class but didn't realise till it was too late that it was a beginner's dance class for already-professional dancers who were only beginners in that particular dance and we were standing very tight and it was the worst hour of my life. I once made out with the lead actor of 'The Bridge' (first two seasons).

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things I’ve talked about

beauty blog body image boyfriend comedian comedians comedienne comedy dating datingadvice deborah frances white facebook fat feminism funny girlfriend greys anatomy intercourse jessamyn stanley killers london love nomakeupselfie normal nudity onenightstand personal pickup podcast psychology rape selfies serialkillers sex sexual assault single standup status update yoga

My Instagram

FAT ANNOUNCEMENT. Right, let's just get very Fat Ally 101 on this.⁠ 👉🏻 "Have you lost weight? You look amazing!" - by this same logic, you're saying that the fatter I am, the less amazing I look and you're equating thin = good and fat = bad.⁠ ⁠ 👉🏻 "I feel fat." - Fat is not a feeling. I can't feel brunette. What you mean is, you feel unattractive or lazy, neither of which is the same as fat.⁠ ⁠ 👉🏻 The words 'obese' and 'overweight'. Obese is a medicalised word for fatness, which implies that fatness is an illness. It's not. Overweight implies that there is a 'normal weight' of which you can and should not be over or under. Over what weight? Nah. I'm fat.⁠ ⁠ 👉🏻 "Have you tried yoga or eating fewer calories?" - You'll not meet a single fat person in the world who has not, at some point either tried losing weight or been told to lose weight. I've read 32 diet books in my life. Trust me, I know more about "how to lose weight" than you.⁠ ⁠ 👉🏻 "Oh, you're not fat! Don't say that about yourself!" - I'm fat and that's not a bad thing. Stop saying it like I've just announced I'm the worst person in the world.⁠ ⁠ Glad we cleared this out! Have a nice day.

IT’S TODAY! Or, tonight. 8pm on Radio4. My Radio4 Documentary is broadcast! It’s called ‘An Unexpected History of Clean Eating’ and it is so wild. So, so wild. I speak to people like @pixienutrition and @jess_sews_clothes and Rory Sutherland and Lauren from @pecsdragkings and we talk morality and food, feminism, advertising and eating disorders and bodies and it’s all very exciting. It’ll be repeated on Wednesday at 11am but will also just be up on BBC iPlayer for a while. I’m so excited. I love documentaries. I “made” my “first” “documentary” when I was 15. It’s a little dream come true. I hope you’ll listen and I hope you’ll like it. 🤞🏻

I was checking my teeth in my phone’s camera to see if I had blueberry in them because I just ate a bunch of blueberries because I’m a fairytale princess, and an old white man rolled his eyes at me because he thought I was taking selfies, so I started taking a shitload of selfies, really cute ones with a pout and everything (no teeth showing though because BLUEBERRIES???), because fuck you, man. It was either a thousand selfies or screaming ‘GET OUT OF MY LIFE AND LET ME LIVE’. I guess in a way I am the feminist hero you all love and deserve.

NEW TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT. I am going to ROAM THIS KINGDOM with my brand-new show The Bumswing. The best show I’ve ever made. I’m excited to go BACK OUT. Tickets on my website. 🐙

Just a little ALMOSTNUDE because I am TEASING you because of something EXCITING happening tomorrow. If you are signed up for my newsletter, check your inbox around 10am. 💛

Go to @laurathomasphd and sign her petition. Link is in her bio. Details on the page.

This is AMAZING! Thank you @thedarkdoodle 🥰 . . #Repost @thedarkdoodle ・・・ One of my favorite comedians, @sofiehagendk 😎 Quick 1 hour(ish) portrait on procreate. . . . . . . #Ottawa #OttawaCanada #TheDarkDoodle . . . . . . . #portraitartist #portaiture #portrait #sofiehagen #comedyqueen #comedy #digitalart #digitalartwork #digitaldrawing #procreate #ipadpro #happyfat #femalecomedy #femalerepresentation #womenincomedy

I have to say, my ‘photos I am tagged in’ section of this app makes me really, really happy. 📚

To get two decent photos for this year’s Edinburgh show / my new show ‘The Bumswing’, I had to have a strawberry smacked hard into my face two hundred times by @sharimakeup while @mrmattcrockett took the photos. It looks like the strawberry was just dangled below my nose but actually, NO. It was very violent. I just need you all to know that.

When I got my first boyfriend at the age of 14 I ended up hiding in a bathroom for two hours because I was scared of kissing him and eventually he broke up with me. We dated for six days. No kisses. He isn’t on Facebook and that’s very annoying.

Hi, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m fat. A runner on a TV set recently said to me, ‘Oh where did you get your jumpsuit?’ and I said, ‘ASOS.’ and she said, ‘I love ASOS but there are always just TOO MANY PAGES of STUFF.’ and I laughed and said, ‘Oh, you should try getting fat - that way, there will only be a couple!’ and she looked at me, mortified and gasped, ‘AWW DON’T SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF.’ Fat is not bad. Fat is not bad. Fat is not bad. I am fat. I am fat. I am fat. If I can’t say ‘It’s harder for fat people to find clothes’ because it makes thin people scared or uncomfortable, how do you expect us to get anywhere? I am fat. Maybe you, reading this, are fat. That’s okay. 📸: @mrmattcrockett 💄: @sharimakeup 👖: the SOFIE HAGEN x PLUS EQUALS clothing collection from @plusequals

If you don’t like the smug look on my face, you’ll be happy to know that literally seconds after this photo was taken, the elevator got stuck and I thought I was going to die but I managed to get out and took the stairs the rest of the way, so in a way, I did die. (Sign up for my newsletter and I promise to never mention it again.) Jumpsuit from @asos_loves_curve (always assume ASOS)

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