Skip to content

Sofie Hagen Blog

Intro

Tag: status update

Someone almost raped my friend – so she did this, which prevented it.

March 19, 2015January 29, 2016

Sofie Hagen4 Comments

Sofie Hagen

Multi-award-winning stand-up comedian, but my uncle wants to know when I'm going to lose some weight. A lot of guys have told me that they'd LOVE to be my boyfriend, if they weren't already married. I once joined a beginner's dance class but didn't realise till it was too late that it was a beginner's dance class for already-professional dancers who were only beginners in that particular dance and we were standing very tight and it was the worst hour of my life. I once made out with the lead actor of 'The Bridge' (first two seasons).

View sofiehagen.komiker’s profile on Facebook
View SofieHagen’s profile on Twitter
View sofiehagendk’s profile on Instagram
View SofieHagen’s profile on YouTube
View user8254371’s profile on Vimeo

things I’ve talked about

beauty blog body image boyfriend comedian comedians comedienne comedy dating datingadvice deborah frances white facebook fat feminism funny girlfriend greys anatomy intercourse jessamyn stanley killers london love nomakeupselfie normal nudity onenightstand personal pickup podcast psychology rape selfies serialkillers sex sexual assault single standup status update yoga

Recent Posts

When I kicked a psychopath
It’s my party and I’ll take a fucking selfie if I want to
The Guilty Feminist
How to Start Doing Yoga (for people who are never going to start doing yoga)
Someone almost raped my friend – so she did this, which prevented it.

My Instagram

ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ? • I really love Instagram these days. You’re all so nice. And it’s an amazing way of spreading and sharing ideas. But a lot gets lost in translation. It makes me really excited to start my 2020 leg of my stand-up tour. HERE’S THE THING. A lot of my tour dates will definitely sell out. I’m very humbled and pleased by that. A lot will be quite full even if they don’t sell out. And then there are quite a few where I’m like WTF people? Where ARE YOU? I’m looking at you, FARNHAM, MAIDENHEAD, NEW MILTON, LANCASTER, DIDCOT, ALDERSHOT, CANTERBURY, NORWICH, ALNWICK and FOLKESTONE. There has got to be SOME people in these places that would like to see a very funny, queer, nonbinary, feminist, fat stand-up comedian do a show about a sex holiday, chickens and memory? It’s a whole evening worth of fun. Second half is my support act @will_dug and me doing all new stuff: new stories and jokes. AND I meet you afterwards and sell posters and sign your boobs and bums and stuff. ǫᴜᴇsᴛɪᴏɴ: Do you live in these places? Do you want to help out? Send me a DM if I can send you something - posters for your uni’s bulletin board or your feminist book club, text to post onto your town’s Facebook group, flyers to put on tables at your next feminist gettogether... If you can help spread the news, I’ll be super grateful. And I might be able to get you free tickets! If you live in any of these places AND you like me, is there any reason you’re not going? Can I do anything differently? Let me know. AND FYI: I will be adding more dates. Brighton, Manchester, Birmingham, Newcastle, Exeter, etc. ♥️

⚰️⚰️⚰️

#AD About a year ago, I was on the phone with a moving company at 6pm begging them to come and take my couch out of my room INSTANTLY. They said they could come the next day at 7am and I hung up and started crying. At 1am, I texted my friend and said, ‘This is super weird and super embarrassing and I can’t explain it. I’m so sorry, but I just know that I need to get my couch out of my room now, or I’ll die.’ and he said, ‘I’ll be right there.’ An hour later, in the middle of the night, we moved my couch onto the street (and then made sure it was picked up the next day, don’t worry, nothing illegal happened). He didn’t ask any questions, he just gave me a hug and went back home and back to sleep. I went back up to my flat and could breathe for the first time in 24 hours. The next day I was diagnosed with OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Like suddenly obsessing over a couch in your bedroom that’s been there for two years but now it’s in the way. I once owned twenty white t-shirts because I had worn one once and I thought ‘I like wearing this’ and then the OCD took over and I HAD to buy twenty, because if I suddenly couldn’t access a white t-shirt, I would suffocate and die. My friend coming over, carrying the couch down to the street and making me feel like it was the most normal thing in the world, even though it definitely wasn’t, meant the world to me. That’s why I’m supporting @bupa’s #IsItNormal campaign. Because sometimes the shame or guilt or the fear of not ‘being normal’ is what keeps us from asking for help. Visit their page to find out more. #isitnormal #mentalhealth #influencer

☎️☎️☎️

When people say ‘nice dress’ whenever I am wearing a jumpsuit, this is the position I get into. I spread my legs faster than I would if sex God Paul Hollywood stood naked in front of me with a spatula ready to punish me because my sourdough bread is too dry. Anyways, because gender is weird and brains are weird, when people think I am wearing a dress, I lowkey panic a bit because I don’t want them to think I’m a woman (even though yes, any gender can and do wear any clothing and yes, people will still read me as a woman even if I was wearing a jumpsuit, especially jumpsuits bought on the Women section of ASOS). But that’s why brains are weird. It doesn’t make sense. But I’ve not worn dresses since 2017 now, I think. I tried it once in Edinburgh in 2019 and I felt a bit sick. This post isn’t an educational or political post. I’m not talking ON BEHALF OF NONBINARY FOLX. I’m not officially even out yet. I am just telling you an emotion I have. About dresses and trousers and jumpsuits. And then I wanted to share this incredibly chaotic and beautiful photo by @karlagowlett of me and with @travisalabanza @scotteeisfat and @themilitantbaker in the background from the @theworldisonfireshow 📸

Tag yourself; what piece of Danish childhood nostalgia are you? I’m Dr. Pjuskebusk.

Oh no, there is a tree growing from my head. ANYWAYS, one of the questions I got asked the most when I did a Fat Q&A yesterday in my Instagram stories was about how OFTEN I loved my body. If I had bad days. And the answer is, yes I am human. Of course I have bad days. But I can honestly not remember the last one. It’s been months. I either like my body or I don’t think about it. It’s neutral. Then sometimes I catch a glimpse of it in the mirror or in a shop window and I think, ‘Oh! Hot!’ and I smile. By the way, I’m fatter than I ever have been. The lesson is: Your happiness is inside of your head. Your body is not the problem. You can change the way you think and feel. You don’t have to change your body. Because guess what? You can also hate your body when you’re thin. (Not that it’s easy to change the way you think and feel. It’s taken me 5-6 years. Lots of therapy and unlearning and educating myself. But - the feeling is forever. 95% of diets fail. So you might as well put your eggs in the brain-basket.) 📸Photo by @themilitantbaker

When will people learn that bringing up health is just a way to silence fat people asking to be treated with respect? • If they truly cared SO MUCH about fat people’s health - they’d do the reading and very quickly realise that everything they thought they knew is factually incorrect. But. They don’t care about health. They just want fat people to stop asking for respect. They just hate fat people. I am doing a Q&A in my Instagram stories, asking people to ask me questions about Fat Liberation and of course, the health-question comes up one million times. So I found this old, angry thread I did on Twitter. Next time I do a Q&A or an interview, I will get the same amount of questions about health. I am saying nothing new. There are books, documentaries, articles, studies, think pieces, blogs, podcasts and radio programmes saying the same things. Body activists have answered the SAME questions since the 1960s. And we will keep having to do so because: it is never about health. 🌼

Oh yeah, it’s a fat stomach on your Instagram feed. Because daddy here has tried bath bombs and now all my trauma has fizzed away. It’s the #selfcare content you came here for. #influencing #bodypositivity #loveyourself #getskinnyquick #bethinnow #omgwhyareyoustillfat #haveyounotevenheardofyoga #sixpack #gymlife #curvygirl #couchto5k #marathontraining #crossfit #ketoweightloss #bodybuilding #goodathashtags

Do you listen to Made of Human Podcast? Every New Year’s Eve, Mark Watson and I record a double episode where we look back at the year passed and the future. Second part of the double episode is out today. You can find the podcast wherever you find podcasts usually. Here we are cooking a curry, looking amazing. @watsoncomedian

Follow Sofie Hagen Blog on WordPress.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy