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Someone almost raped my friend – so she did this, which prevented it.

March 19, 2015January 29, 2016

Sofie Hagen4 Comments

Sofie Hagen

Multi-award-winning stand-up comedian, but my uncle wants to know when I'm going to lose some weight. A lot of guys have told me that they'd LOVE to be my boyfriend, if they weren't already married. I once joined a beginner's dance class but didn't realise till it was too late that it was a beginner's dance class for already-professional dancers who were only beginners in that particular dance and we were standing very tight and it was the worst hour of my life. I once made out with the lead actor of 'The Bridge' (first two seasons).

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things I’ve talked about

beauty blog body image boyfriend comedian comedians comedienne comedy dating datingadvice deborah frances white facebook fat feminism funny girlfriend greys anatomy intercourse jessamyn stanley killers london love nomakeupselfie normal nudity onenightstand personal pickup podcast psychology rape selfies serialkillers sex sexual assault single standup status update yoga

Recent Posts

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It’s my party and I’ll take a fucking selfie if I want to
The Guilty Feminist
How to Start Doing Yoga (for people who are never going to start doing yoga)
Someone almost raped my friend – so she did this, which prevented it.

My Instagram

Just hanging out with my new friends in self-isolation. Now, if you missed the Self Isolation Care Packages, I just put another 30 on sale. Link is in my bio. Signing books and writing handwritten notes us keeping me sane at the moment. I’m super grateful that you’re buying them. Also helps me pay my rent which is also, like, my favourite thing to do. I hope you’re all keeping safe and staying inside. ♥️

It’s far from perfect out there, but there is some light. 🌞

✨LAST SELF-ISOLATION CARE PACKAGES ON SALE NOW!✨ Firstly, hi, how are you all doing? If you can self-isolate, how are you coping? I am coping by being creative whilst at the same time hopefully making sure I can pay my rent next month, what with most gigs cancelled for A WHILE. This is what a care package is: ✨ My book HAPPY FAT - signed and wrapped nicely. ✨ My two shows SHIMMER SHATTER and DEAD BABY FROG - download codes (I have laminated them myself, thank you very much). ✨A handwritten note in an envelope with stickers on it. It’s keeping me sane at the moment, and I am enjoying it so much. Writing you all little notes and wrapping my book like presents. First batch goes out today. I’ll finish the last available 32 and send them out tomorrow. Thank you for ordering, thank you for keeping me entertained. And for being so understanding about the cancelled shows. Tell me, how are you all doing? ✨

It absolutely breaks my heart to have to do this, but it’s for the safety of everyone but especially the most vulnerable in society. I was so excited to do these shows and I will reschedule for, well, as soon as possible. The venues will be in touch re: refunds. Meanwhile, please, self-isolate as much as you possibly can. And take deep breaths, be creative, wash your face and keep in touch with friends over Facetime. I love you all.

UPDATES! Firstly, I’ve been off Instagram for almost a week and I’m super surprised that you guys noticed that I was gone. Thank you for being concerned. That’s so sweet. I disappeared for mental health reasons. I wrote about it all in my latest newsletter so check your spam folders. I’m going to try and find a balance so social media doesn’t take over my life as much - deleting Twitter from my phone and only getting my CoronaVirus updates from the Guardian has made me 80% less anxious. I highly recommend. NOW MORE IMPORTANTLY: As of now, all future shows are still happening! Aldershot, Canterbury, Glasgow and Edinburgh this month. And the shows happening in May too. Of course, I am constantly re-evaluating to make sure it’s the right choice. But keep washing your hands and not touching your faces. I’ll keep you updated. TO THOSE OF YOU SELF-ISOLATING: I have added a 50% off discount code for my two shows ‘Shimmer Shatter’ and ‘Dead Baby Frog’. I’ll put a link in my Instastories. The code is ‘eattherich’. I’ll start checking in again soon. Thank you for being the best. ✨

I was asked to write about the difference between the UK and Denmark for the Guardian. Link is in my Insta stories. ✨ Any Danish people who feel like pointing out that I’m generalising will be blocked and put on a list of my worst enemies. ✨

✨ People hate fat people so much, it’s unbelievable. It’s not even a dull kind of hate. It’s such a deep-rooted, gut-wrenching, personal vitriol. Death threats-levels of hatred. The beauty-, wellness- and diet-industry wouldn’t be gigantic billion dollar industries if we hadn’t been taught to hate fatness - in others and ourselves. When I grew up, I learned about bulimia and anorexia. Horrible eating disorders. We were warned about them (but we were, of course, taught that only thin people get them - if you are fat and stop eating or throw up after meals, you are just ‘dieting’ 🙄). No one ever talked about Binge Eating Disorder. If a fat person binge eats, they’re not ill, they’re just ‘greedy’ and y’know, fat. I stopped binge eating after I realised that it was an eating disorder - and I started therapy. And now - despite all the knowledge we have about eating disorders - we still do not talk about Orthorexia. The obsession with healthy eating and exercise. Healthy eating and exercise is obviously not in itself a disorder - but the obsession and fixation is. So many people have it. Society encourages it because there’s A LOT of money to be made from it. Gym memberships, diet books, blenders. All in the name of fat = unhealthy and healthy = the ultimate approval of worth. Fatphobia and capitalism makes us ALL ill. It doesn’t just kill fat people - it makes EVERYONE miserable. And the vitriol fat people get from trolls comes from people who are the most affected by fatphobia, Orthorexia and toxic masculinity. And they’re the most miserable, lonely, unfulfilled and scary people in the world. And so often, the worst trolls are obsessed with exercise and healthy eating. And I get it. I’m here, all fat and happy and psychologically (and physically) healthy and I don’t care about them. And they care so much about me. It must suck. Wanting me to die and be unhappy, so desperately. And I continue to be just fine. I feel for them. I also hate them. But mostly, they’re just sad and pathetic. And they know it. That’s why they lash out. But I just found amazing light from a window as I was getting dressed. So I’m happy. ✨

I have announced new shows in these places! Dublin, Belfast, London and Edinburgh are previews of my NEW SHOW and the tickets can be found on sofiehagen.com/liveshows (the WIP of my website) and the rest are tour shows and tickets can be found on sofiehagen.com/tour - I will link to both in my InstaStories. Who’s coming? ✨ ALSO, DUBLIN, we need to talk. I get sooo many DMs saying ‘When are you in Dublin?!?’ and essentially, if I don’t sell this gig out, I will LOSE MONEY on doing this gig. So. Buckle up, please. 🔥

HAPPY #WorldObesityDay! WE ARE CHANGING THE NARRATIVE. LISTEN UP. Today is #WorldObesityDay, which is a fatphobic day where the focus is on how to ‘cure’ the ‘disease’ that is fatness. FATNESS IS NOT AN ILLNESS AND IT DOES NOT NEED A CURE. So, here is my suggestion! We take over #WorldObesityDay and instead of demonising and patronising fat people, we instead CELEBRATE THEM. We celebrate fatness! YAY! If you think about it, #WorldObesityDay can be just like #PancakeDay - where we love and celebrate our own fatness and that of others. I am going to do a bunch of Instagram stories where I celebrate my favourite fatties - and my own fatness! I hope you’ll do the same! Happy #WorldObesityDay! 🎉🎉🎉

🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

I get asked one particular question A LOT. It’s always ‘how do you find the courage’, ‘how are you so strong’ or ‘why are you brave’ - all because I live in a fat body of which I am not ashamed. Apart from having written an entire book about this (Happy Fat. Out in UK, Denmark, Sweden and soon Germany and the US - preorder now), I’d just like to give you a super tiny version of it. Slide to the right of the hot selfie of me doing a weird facial expression to see it. It’s very simple. ✨

☄️☄️☄️ In my post from a few days ago, I mentioned Sertraline, an anti-anxiety drug. And in the comments, people started talking about having vivid dreams because of it. I am having the most vivid dreams at the moment. They’re so incredibly detailed and long. Sometimes as if I am fully awake and functional in them. I have dreamed several longer bits of full stand-up shows. Last night I dreamed I did a double-act with @will_dug in Edinburgh. I could tell you which venue, what time, how the dressing room looked and what our first five minutes were. It’s almost work. This means I can justify sleeping more. Do you have weird or vivid dreams? Tell me!

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