Intro

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Someone almost raped my friend – so she did this, which prevented it.

Sofie Hagen

Multi-award-winning stand-up comedian, but my uncle wants to know when I'm going to lose some weight. A lot of guys have told me that they'd LOVE to be my boyfriend, if they weren't already married. I once joined a beginner's dance class but didn't realise till it was too late that it was a beginner's dance class for already-professional dancers who were only beginners in that particular dance and we were standing very tight and it was the worst hour of my life. I once made out with the lead actor of 'The Bridge' (first two seasons).

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things I’ve talked about

beauty blog body image boyfriend comedian comedians comedienne comedy dating datingadvice deborah frances white facebook fat feminism funny girlfriend greys anatomy intercourse jessamyn stanley killers london love nomakeupselfie normal nudity onenightstand personal pickup podcast psychology rape selfies serialkillers sex sexual assault single standup status update yoga

My Instagram

Just a little bit of Great British Bake Off themed dinosaur erotica from your new favourite podcast @secretdinosaurcult 🦕🦖🦕🦖

ONESIE-WINTER-MOOD. ❄️ . . . . Sorry for the PROMOTION down here but I am so proud of my new little podcast and you need to know that @SecretDinosaurCult are doing a LIVE RECORDING at The Pleasance in London on Wednesday 21st of November where we will talk funny about NEW YEARS EVE and SCHOOL. Tickets through our website. #SecretDinosaurCult . . P.S. I am also going on tour of the UK in 2019. Whaaat! Come! Go to MY website.

This is me terrified because I'm about to go on stage and do my first ever work-in-progress of my new show. Isn't it fun how I can be super nervous and still look hot as fuck? I really do hate to bring it up all the time, but damn, son. I'm so brave. . . . . Sorry for the PROMOTION down here but I am so proud of my new little podcast and you need to know that @SecretDinosaurCult are doing a LIVE RECORDING at The Pleasance in London on Wednesday 21st of November where we will talk funny about NEW YEARS EVE and SCHOOL. Tickets through our website. #SecretDinosaurCult . . P.S. I am also going on tour of the UK in 2019. Whaaat! Come! Go to MY website.

We mustn’t forget that there is a new episode of @secretdinosaurcult out now. Recorded live in Manchester. We talk about therapy and @jodiemitchetc GETS REAL. 🦕🦖

MARSHMELLOW STOMACH and MARSHMELLOW in MOUTH. Do you dislike your fat stomach? Draw a face on it, feed it marshmellows. Best advice you'll ever get. #HappyFat . . . . Sorry for the PROMOTION down here but I am so proud of my new little podcast and you need to know that @SecretDinosaurCult are doing a LIVE RECORDING at The Pleasance in London on Wednesday 21st of November where we will talk funny about NEW YEARS EVE and SCHOOL. Tickets through our website. #SecretDinosaurCult . . P.S. I am also going on tour of the UK in 2019. Whaaat! Come! Go to MY website.

It's officially winter and I have unleashed my winter coast and scarves. I'll kill this winter with colours. (And a SAD lamp) . . . . Sorry for the PROMOTION down here but I am so proud of my new little podcast and you need to know that @SecretDinosaurCult are doing a LIVE RECORDING at The Pleasance in London on Wednesday 21st of November where we will talk funny about NEW YEARS EVE and SCHOOL. Tickets through our website. #SecretDinosaurCult . . P.S. I am also going on tour of the UK in 2019. Whaaat! Come! Go to MY website.

Just a photo of a selfie and magic make-up artist @sharimakeup being unimpressed with my narcissism. #HappyFat . . . . Sorry for the PROMOTION down here but I am so proud of my new little podcast and you need to know that @SecretDinosaurCult are doing a LIVE RECORDING at The Pleasance in London on Wednesday 21st of November where we will talk funny about NEW YEARS EVE and SCHOOL. Tickets through our website. #SecretDinosaurCult . . P.S. I am also going on tour of the UK in 2019. Whaaat! Come! Go to MY website.

TONIGHT, TONIGHT. @SecretDinosaurCult are taking over The Pleasance in London to do a CHRISTMAS SPECIAL episode (yes) and one about virginity - does virginity even exist? When was or WHEN WILL BE our first times? Oh dear, so much juicy content. Get a ticket to this or future recordings through our website. SEE YOU TONIGHT THOUGH. Bring your favourite dinosaur. There WILL be free badges!

When you do so many shows at @phoenixartsclub that they put a drawing of you on their bathroom wall. . . . . Oh hey, did I mention that @SecretDinosaurCult are doing a LIVE RECORDING at The Pleasance in London? Monday 12th of November we will talk funny about CHRISTMAS and VIRGINITY (is there such a thing?). Tickets through our website. #SecretDinosaurCult . . P.S. I am also going on tour of the UK in 2019. Whaaat! Come! Go to MY website.

It's my birthday today. I'm 30. Hello. What's that? What I want for my birthday? For you to come to @SecretDinosaurCult's LIVE RECORDING at The Pleasance in London on Monday 12th of November, where we will talk funny about CHRISTMAS and VIRGINITY (is there such a thing?). Tickets through our website. #SecretDinosaurCult . . P.S. I am also going on tour of the UK in 2019. Whaaat! Come! Go to MY website.

Sexy, fat stomach. #HappyFat . . . Oh hey, did I mention that @SecretDinosaurCult are doing a LIVE RECORDING at The Pleasance in London? Monday 12th of November we will talk funny about CHRISTMAS and VIRGINITY (is there such a thing?). Tickets through our website. #SecretDinosaurCult . . P.S. I am also going on tour of the UK in 2019. Whaaat! Come! Go to MY website.

It’s one day before my 30th birthday. Here is my fat stomach and we’re finally really happy together. And that pisses a lot of people off. And somehow that only makes us happier. . . . . On MONDAY I am doing a show in London called Secret Dinosaur Cult. Tickets on sofiehagen.com (link in bio). You should come. 🦕🦖🦕🦖🦕🦖🦕🦖

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